Future annoyance check list

Last year, I had a chat with my cousin about being single. I asked him why he has not found us all a nice lady friend to get drunk with at family parties; he gave the best response ever.

‘I know what I want, what qualities are the perfect woman for me, why would I settle for anything less?’

This short sentence has stuck with me since, even more so now that I am getting asked this question, although I’m after a nice man, sorry ladies 😉 So, I have decided to compile a list of my own (this list in non-exhaustive of course)

My perfect guy:

• Must have an amazing sense of humour, not the personality of a sweaty mop
• He must have the ability to make me laugh even in the worse situations and especially when I have a ‘little woman syndrome’ flare up
• Great hair – indie/mod cut all day long, man buns need not apply!!
• A good sense of style, I’m a rare breed that thinks grey sweat pants a vile. As are beige shoes. I like to get dressed up, I don’t want to be stood with some guy in his finest trackys, no matter how well they have been ironed
• Taller than me, which isn’t too much to ask being 5ft nothing
• Isn’t easily offended, I have the mouth of a drunken sailor and WILL call you a dick at some point, usually for no reason
• He has to be creative and have imagination
• Know what he wants from life & is ambitious
• Be family orientated, i love my family, we are all equally bonkers and throw a boss party!
• No serial killer traits appart from the charm of course
• Not feminine at all, I want a man, not a woman
• Finally, confidence and a positive outlook!

I know I sound like the kids from Mary Poppins looking for a nanny, I am fully aware that such a fella does not exist and will not find this blog entry will drift to him ripped up from a fireplace; I may have to compromise. I must point out that I will NEVER compromise for a guy on the grey sweaty pants or beige shoes front, he can fuck right off.