Future annoyance check list


Last year, I had a chat with my cousin about being single. I asked him why he has not found us all a nice lady friend to get drunk with at family parties; he gave the best response ever.

‘I know what I want, what qualities are the perfect woman for me, why would I settle for anything less?’

This short sentence has stuck with me since, even more so now that I am getting asked this question, although I’m after a nice man, sorry ladies 😉 So, I have decided to compile a list of my own (this list in non-exhaustive of course)

My perfect guy:

  • Must have an amazing sense of humour, not the personality of a sweaty mop
  • He must have the ability to make me laugh even in the worse situations and especially when I have a ‘little woman syndrome’ flare up
  • Great hair – indie/mod cut all day long, man buns need not apply!!
  • A good sense of style, I’m a rare breed that thinks grey sweat pants a vile. As are beige shoes. I like to get dressed up, I don’t want to be stood with some guy in his finest trackys, no matter how well they have been ironed
  • Taller than me, which isn’t too much to ask being 5ft nothing
  • Isn’t easily offended, I have the mouth of a drunken sailor and WILL call you a dick at some point, usually for no reason
  • He has to be creative and have imagination
  • Know what he wants from life & is ambitious
  • Be family orientated, i love my family, we are all equally bonkers and throw a boss party!
  • No serial killer traits appart from the charm of course
  • Not feminine at all, I want a man, not a woman
  • Finally, confidence and a positive outlook!

I know I sound like the kids from Mary Poppins looking for a nanny, I am fully aware that such a fella does not exist and will not find this blog entry will drift to him ripped up from a fireplace; I may have to compromise. I must point out that I will NEVER compromise for a guy on the grey sweaty pants or beige shoes front, he can fuck right off.


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