Tag Archives: weird

The worlds fastest relationship

Moving-Too-Fast

Society these days demands everything fast, fast food, fast coffee and apparently fast relationships.

For this one, I have only have Tinder and my own pure curiosity to blame. What happened to tat stupid damn cat again?! So on facebook I got a random message and friend request from a guy, the conversation went like this;

‘Hey, how are you? xx’

‘Do I know you?’

‘No, I just appreciate a pretty face, saw you on facebook and thought I would add you, can we be friends? xx’

‘Sorry I don’t make a habit of adding strange guys from facebook’

‘What makes you think I am a strange guy?’ xx

He clearly didn’t understand a polite-ish brush off when he read one. I ignored that last question, thinking the answer was pretty obvious. A few days later, I received another message.. ’can we be friends? xx’ my first thought, just fuck off please friend..but as I’m one curious cow, I thought I would add him for a snoop. Then followed the ‘likes’ on every post and loads of pictures, followed by messages. It started off just general chit chat, asking about the usual shite. A few messages in, he built his little self-up to ask me out, to which I politely declined by saying that I’m not dating anyone at the minute but thanks anyway. I had deleted Tinder at this point and had hit up bumble, he didn’t know this. He didn’t give up, his reply was that he had seen me initially on tinder, not facebook. So when I tried to explain again that I’m not dating, he suggested a drink as friends. I said that I would let him know when I get some time off and I actually debated going on a cheeky date, as the rest had all gone so well and provided nothing more than pure entertainment.

This is when it all went a bit tits up and passive aggressive. ‘I suppose I will just have to wait and see if you get any time off then’. That was a strong reply that would change my mind if there ever was one. The messages that followed were amazing telling me that I shouldn’t be renting, I should look to buy a place, about money, savings and basically trying to give me life lessons. SOUND. Again, my mind began screaming ‘fuck off pal’. I can’t stand people trying to impart unwanted life lessons on me. I ignored a few more messages asking when I am free, why we can’t go for a drink in between my shifts and that he is not a big drinker anyway.

That night, I was on a night shift and went back on Tinder, again out of pure curiosity, plus talking about my dating disasters, I kind of missed the entertainment! I love how exited people get when they have a go on it, especially when they get over exited and match you with some absolute meat head that looks like he would try to rob the whey protein from a field of cows. I wish I still had that kind of love for Tinder. The next afternoon, I woke to a snotty passive aggressive message from my new friend. It went something along these lines..

‘how’s you? Just saw you on tinder, here’s me waiting for you to ‘give me a shout’. No hard feelings, hope we can stay friends’.

Now, I am not a morning person. I don’t like waking up in general, especially after my usual 4 hours kip after my night shift. Waking up to read that message, the undertone of pissed off surprised me. Plus I doubt we were actually friends?!

My reply was basic.. ‘wow, we all went on it for a laugh in work’ which was technically true.

His next reply gave me a white hot flash of anger.

‘Can you see my point of view though, I can’t see you messaging saying you’re ready to go out for a drink, I guess I will just have to guess which weekend your off. Don’t be angry with me please’ followed by one of those emoji’s with the rolling eyes. Right then dickhead, i cant stand being given the rolling eyes, its way too much emphasis on one small shitty face.

I don’t know if it was the rolling eyes emoji, the passive aggressive wording or the fact I’m not exactly an easy going person with sleep deprivation but I was all of a sudden awake and through my little half asleep squinty eyes, I began to furiously type away. I may have been a tad harsh..

‘First off we are not in a relationship, we haven’t even had a date. I’ve explained my situation to you which you clearly don’t understand. I don’t appreciate waking up to passive aggressive messages at all. I have rid my life of negative idiots who like to speak to me like that and having to explain myself to a total stranger is not what I want. So that’s the last I will say on the matter **thumbs up emoji** im off to work so I don’t want to debate this matter anymore.’ i very nearly threw in the rolling eyes emoji but felt the thumbs up gave more effect.

In my head, this was totally justified and it done the trick as he said to just delete and block him then. What an excellent idea!

So, within the space of around 2 weeks, I had managed to cram in an argument and breakup with someone I had never met, let alone had a date with. Moral of the story, don’t accept random friend requests and don’t piss me off when I’m tired.

Selective Extrovert?!

introvert extrovert

I have never really looked at myself as an introvert or an extrovert, I’m not the kind of person who wants to be categorized, where’s the fun in that?!

I seem to go through phases of being either extremely sociable for a few weeks then I go to the opposite end of the scale to the point where I go full on recluse mode. Take the past few months for example. I found myself single for the first time in years and back living with the rents, sat in my room most nights. So I hit my sociable phase. I started going out most nights, either on dates or catching up with mates, drinking out of boredom or to help me sleep. Mix that up with Christmas festivities and shift work in between, come January I was shattered. I had no space to escape or place to call my own. I had organized a surprise weekend away for my mum’s birthday with the whole family in the Lake District and while it was an amazing weekend, I was drained by the second night and in bed early. Although I am sure that flapping that the surprise would be ruined, trying to sort things out for the big move and drinking way too much only added to matters. It was nothing a walk on the mountain and a little hot tub and sauna session couldn’t sort out.

I don’t like being the centre of attention, yet I want to stand out from everyone else and look different. I love to get ridiculously dolled up in vintage styles, thus drawing it to myself. I love big, BIG 60’s hair, victory rolls, wiggle dresses, 50’s tea dresses, mini mod dresses and lashings of lack eyeliner and red lipstick. The joy I get when a good pin curl set brushes out and sets like a dream cannot be put into words. That’s the only time I miss living with anyone, there is no one around to appreciate my masterpiece hair but thankfully my mum has Whatsapp!

I am sometimes shy around new people and tend to stay quiet in group conversations. I prefer to listen to what everyone else has to say first and get to know people before I can chirp in; even then I’m still quite reserved, which is another reason for writing this blog! Then I will meet a certain type of person; one that I immediately feel comfortable with and unleash my unusual, witty and chatty side and I have no guilt. Those thoughts after conversations where normally I would wonder if I came across weird, if I slipped up and said something too personal about myself or could have offended in anyway are none existent. Actually, all of those things add to the conversation! I am now learning not to answer the ‘what have you been up to?’ question with ‘nothing much’ and sounding like a boring cow that sits at home every night in the dark. I hated talking about myself. I suppose that’s why I can talk to patients in work; I am usually asking the questions. I do however think that most of these behaviors have been learnt, from trusting the wrong people and having private things broadcast like the latest gossip to the looks I get when I make a comment on a situation where I have let my ‘whatever you do, don’t say that’ filter slip; maybe Maybe i am a closet extrovert?! I actually don’t care what others think of me, I dress how I like, I don’t care if I piss anyone off and I will unleash my weird side, well with selective people of course, I wouldn’t want to be slapped on a 28 day ‘holiday’. Time to start selling myself (in a non-prostitute kind of way) and get out of this introvert/extrovert closet my lack of confidence has created.

Since making these small changes, avoiding negativity and becoming more confident in myself, I have made some amazing friends, some of which were right in front of me the whole time. After my pretty crappy year, a few of my work colleagues have been amazing, especially with loads of good advice that had helped no end, I have reconnected with old friends who actually knew me a lot more than I thought and people with the same interests and views have appeared in my life. No more drama llama’s or mood hoover’s in my life, PREACH!