Tag Archives: lifelessons

My last post as a 20-something!

So next week I hit the fabulous milestone that is dirty 30. I would love to say that I have looked at it from a chilled prospective and haven’t freaked out..but that would make me a total liar. I had freaked out something fierce. I was doing amazing until someone mentioned that soon I will never be able to say I’m in my 20’s, ever again.

I am now post freak out, I haven’t changed my hair, career or country of residence, I thought I would get it out there what I have learnt and achieved so far, as, well..why the fuck not.

Here’s five things I have learnt in my 20’s..

  1. To be selfish with my time. Saying no to things you actually don’t want to do is quite an empowering experience, especially when you don’t make up some random excuse like your fish needs a bath. There is nothing wrong with turning down nights out in favour of a Netflix binge in your oldest pj’s. Just say no.
  2. I am not the centre of the universe; I am the centre of my own universe. This goes for other people too. There will always be people who think that the world revolves around them and will be offended if you even breathe in their company, leave them to it and look after your own energy. Create your own reality and be as quirky and extravagant as you want.
  3. Not all those close to you have your best interest at heart. This I learnt in my early 20’s. Some are only around for the gossip, some only acquaintances. When you’re younger you can have a massive friendship circle. This will slowly whittle down once you gain different interests or simply grow apart. You learn to recognise who you want to keep around, those who cheer you on, who don’t try to make you feel guilty for having a life, who you would trust with anything and those who understand your weird ways; even if you have known them for 5 years or 5 mins, keep the ones who know when to make you laugh.
  4. You can’t rely on anyone else to make you happy, true happiness comes from within. Learn to love yourself and the rest will follow. How can you expect other people to like you if you don’t like yourself? Embrace your faults and flaws; they are what make us all unique after all
  5. Its ok if you don’t know what you want to do in your life. I have only just realised what I want to do, yet I still constantly search for something different and exiting. Although I am closet geek and love learning new things. Or I get bored easy, who cares!

Usually people look back at a milestone and think that they haven’t achieved their goals when they should be looking at what they have achieved. I have achieved a hell of a lot personally, to some these may prove insignificant but to me, they are major achievements. I have gained my independence, moved to a brand new area and started again, tried pin up modelling and have been internationally published in two magazines, stood up in front of strangers and gave a 20 minute talk without literally shitting my pants, got on an airplane on my own and writing this blog. I still constantly freak out with every post being a very private person but I love writing and throwing what I am learning about life out there.

Mostly I am proud that I am not the same person I was when I was 20. That girl seems like a complete stranger for more reasons than I could begin to list and I couldn’t be happier. I mildly disliked my very early 20’s whilst my late 20’s have been amazing. I have learnt so much, mostly about myself. So I am now actually looking forward to what i will learn in my 30’s.

So instead of looking at your failures, embrace them as lessons and focus on what you are really proud of, even if society says you shouldn’t be..

There is nothing wrong if you get to thirty and haven’t bought your own house but can make a bloody good roast dinner.. that’s an achievement in its own right!


A few words to my younger self..

If I could write a letter to my younger self, it would go something like this..


Just kidding..

-always remember to smile

-You are always good enough.. never listen to the few idiots who try to make you feel less of a person, they are projecting their own issues on you, and they are also arseholes.

-your mum is always right, apart from thinking you like eggs, she won’t remember this until you hit 28 and by that time you won’t actually mind them

-you will loose that ‘puppy fat’ and when you look back, you will realise you were never really fat anyway!

-get rid of the negative influences in your life sooner rather than later

-when you get that first working pay check, for god sake stay away from new look!

-coming second is a big achievement..especially when it’s to someone who is just as creative and ridiculously talented, it’s something to be proud of, nothing to be embarrassed of.

-it’s ok to cry & show emotion, it’s totally ok to ‘cry like a girl’ as you bloody are one!

-what ever you do, do not let that dinner lady force you to eat cauliflower cheese..it doesn’t end well

-be yourself, don’t be so shy and embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with standing out from the crowd.

-everything will make sense in a few years, all of those gut feelings and niggling thoughts will make sense

-massive hoop earrings are a major faux par 

-as is pulling your socks over your finest Lacoste tracky pants 

-you will find your place one day, no more longing of a place to fit in, you will finally find the right fashion sense through vintage everything!

-that empty space you feel that needs filling, will become whole once you start to love yourself ❤

-stop ironing your hair immediately, one day you will want those curls back

-it’s ok not to have a plan, you don’t have to go to uni or college straight away, enjoy being young and free!

And last but not least..


Monday vibes

Over the past few weeks I have let my creative side take a back seat, well with the exception of modelling. Last month I went out and bought a load or canvases, paint, oil/chalk pastels and decided to sit down and get the better side of messy. I painted one, done the background of two, then left those to one side to gather dust in my little arty corner surrounded by fabric slices and a glue gun.

Over the weekend, I was absolutely worn out, I have pushed myself too far over the past few weeks to the point of being ill and burnt out. I actually left a family party at midnight due to being that exhausted. I’m usually the first to be drunk and the last one to leave but I just couldn’t function, even after having several beers I couldn’t wake up. The next morning I woke up shattered. Had a full English with the rents and headed home. It’s taken it’s toll so much that I actually looked like a bag of boiled shite that had been set a lite and stamped on.

So I decided to do something I hadn’t done for ages..chill my beans.

I sat in my little crib, drank herbal tea and ate so much cake. I managed to do a little chakra meditation, I caught up with a few sets from Glasto and actually finished a painting..all in my pjs!

This morning I woke up feeling the best I had in a few weeks, ready for five 12 hour day shifts this week..

Monday will not kick my arse this week, if anything..I will kick the arse out of Monday with some pure positive vibes ✌️

As I have said on more than one occasion, it’s time to start listening to my body and slowing down..now I actually will. Even though by Friday, I think the smile may have been beaten out of me after 60hrs but I will sleep like a baby Friday night. I’m still not motivated enough to hit the gym after work though, the only way that will happen is if they start to serve prosecco in their water fountain, that would get me there every night!!

Feed your soul

‘A relaxed mind is a creative mind’


I have always been a creative little soul. I love painting, playing with different art materials and making absolutely anything. I’ve always had a project on the go; I’d decoupage everything from photo frames to clocks and boxes, started making jewellery, bits on my sewing machine and attempting to learn my ukulele. I spent time with the occupational therapies team in my previous job, putting together activities and running or assisting with classes and loved it. I was getting paid to do dance classes, painting, pottery, tai chi and although I’d hate to admit it doing ‘wake up and stretch’ every morning. This involved trying to coax patients who had literally just opened their eyes to stand around in a circle and move and wiggle around to music whilst trying not to look like idiots. i miss carrying that little boom box onto a ward full of cheery faces.. After I had left, I haven’t done anything at all creative, until now!

Since I have decided to stop being such a negative and pessimistic cow, it seems like my creative urges have returned in full flow. I am starting art classes, getting back into painting and doodling, picked back up my ukulele, doing more photoshoots and I have started writing. I have also always been into my music, normally classic rock and a bit of brit pop but I have had my little peepers and lugholes opened to the ways of new music. I have literally spent weeks trawling twitter and Spotify listening to all kinds, Spotify is literally the best invention ever. I’m currently hammering The Vryll Society, Wicked Whispers, Whyte Horses and Clean Cut kid to name a few, all amazing in their own way.

I’m finally getting back to myself and it feels amazing, those creative juices are certainly flowing again. My next project is trying to make some sort of art work for my walls, so it looks like I will have to stop eating my crayons and actually scribble with them for a change, at least if it’s a mess I can count it as abstract art.

Modern moves?!

fall for actions

As I have stated in previous posts, my dating has taken a hiatus for a few years. Since I have started dating and chatting to guys again, I just can’t get my head around certain things.

  1. The unsolicited dick pick. I always thought this was only acceptable with someone you can fully trust that they will not flash that picture of your nips in the really bad lighting about to their mates, or even worse, on the internet. Apparently you only need to get three messages deep (pun totally intended!) these days before sending one. Or from another experience, a pic sent via twitter, I would have at least preferred an introduction or a hello; I certainly did not ‘wanna get on this’.
  2. The use of the poor aubergine to symbolise a dick. I can’t stand an aubergine anyway but I’m sure it’s a bit devastated to be used in sex memes! Using your actual words is much more effective, trying to decipher hieroglyphic’s is not a turn on at all! Leave the poor eggplant for its intended purpose, in a rat-atat-atouille or in the bin with the rest of the shit vegetables.
  3. The notion that every guy cheats or has a ‘side chic’. Come on ladies, don’t believe your idiot mates who have been trying to get with Barry from Toccy while he bangs every minger that moves or trying to change these so called ‘fuck boys’. These were more commonly known as bad boys, or full on dickheads. Not every guy is sleeping with everyone, sending dick pics or acting like these meme’s people love so much, get off Tinder and have some faith in humanity.
  4. There is no in between. It is either three messages in and someone is professing marriage or the standard ‘netflix and chill’ invite. I can’t stand this saying, what happened to asking someone round to watch an actual movie. At least then sex isn’t expected, in a non rapey way i should point out! Isn’t it part of the excitement when your sat there wondering if they have genuinely only come over to watch that shit Adam Sandler movie? And don’t get me started on the ‘firestick and dick’ saying!!
  5. No one gets to know each other now; they treat everyone like they are disposable. People say that they hate playing games and love honesty yet play more games than Bradley Wiggins and lie like a cheap rug. Stop over thinking, be honest and put your monopoly board away. Text the guy/girl if you want to speak to them, don’t leave people on ‘read’ to prove a point and if you actually like someone, tell them! ‘Treat them mean’ does not work at all, unless you’re younger and pulling your crushes hair to the point of tears. Although if it works out, she may love the hair pulling further down the line 😉

Life lessons for little ladies

After moving house for the 16th time in my life, of 4th time in the last 6 years; I have not only realized that I could be considered to apply for ‘My big fat gypsy wedding’ if I was young enough, but there are some things missing from our British education system. I remember doing cooking and textiles in school and hating both. I couldn’t bake a cake or sew a in a straight line. I am now nearing 29 and I still can’t sew in a straight line, the jury is still out on my baking! In fact, for my GCSE I hated those lessons so much I chose to do woodwork and passed might I add! So, I have compiled a list of five essential skills that I think young girls should now be taught to keep up with the modern woman..

  1. How to change a headlamp in your car. I say this as I have just had to pay £12.99 for a bulb and £8 for fitting off an absolutely miserable bastard from Halfords who clearly loves his life, I must have got in the way of him flirting with the scouse brow behind the counter.
  2. The correct way to remove a spider without either burning your house down or doing a midnight flit.
  3. How to fit wardrobe doors. This is literally the worse thing ever. Last time I attempted this it took me a whole 4 hours of swearing, followed by crying and throwing my screwdriver. So this time I roped the rents & brother into it with the bribe of bacon butties.
  4. How to correctly dump a guy or friend zone him without it ending in tears/sociopathic behavior. I have successfully learnt to friend zone a guy in two messages, which only took me years to perfect! If all else fails, delete all social media, block their number and leave the country immediately.
  5. Bribe delivery drivers. Again from experience, this morning I had a rolled up double mattress delivered to my front door, swiftly followed by a ‘tara love’ as he ran off into the distance. I had to drag the thing up two flights of stairs and around a dodgy corner into my flat. Another lesson learnt; when you remove the wrapping, it will spring up very quickly so definitely don’t put your face in the way!


If you manage to get these skills to a fine art, I truly believe cushion sewing and baking will soon follow, once you are a strong independent woman who don’t need no man!