Tag Archives: games

Curse of the Fuck boy/Bad boy

Last time I was single, over 4 ish years ago, there was no such thing as a ‘fuck boy’, there were just dick heads that you would steer clear of. Then last year, I saw the term getting banded around on social media. I always thought the girls who go after these guys are absolute idiots who must know full well what they are getting themselves into. Just like the same idiots who chase after bad boys constantly. It turns out i am now in that idiot category.

My ideas of the difference between a fuck boy and a bad boy;

Bad Boys:

-Exude confidence to the point that it’s contagious

-Unique rebel – will smoke in front of a non-smoking sign

-Claims not to follow trends, then grows a beard and gets a tattoo

-Has a certain cheek that draws you in

-Will flirt with your mates just because he can

-Known for causing trouble or murder with your mates

-Will happily get into a relationship with you, until he finds something shinier to play with

-He’s not one for meeting the rents or making future plans

-Will make no effort to convince you that he isn’t a dick, he totally owns it.

-Their purpose in life is to give you that awesome memory to look back on, that excitement, fun fiery fling to fantasize about when you’re old and not getting any.

Fuck Boys:

-Will reel you in with comments of your future until you are convinced it’s going somewhere, even if it’s an offer to go to Nando’s next month

-Will constantly compliment you while your together, then not speak to you for weeks

-Randomly requests nudes and you know full well they will be shown to his mates

-Appear cheeky and cute, can only hide the dick head undercurrent for at least 3/4 dates

– Speak only in emojis, like the water splashes, tongue and especially that poor, violated marrow thing

– Use terms like ‘dick appointment’, because he is a twat.

-Has the ability to make you forget why you stopped talking, or exchanging emoji’s

-Pretends to be a nice guy but only cares about himself

– Usually very hot, and they know it

-Their idea of flirting is – what would you be doing if I was there now? Or in their vocab – wha wud u be doin if I was ther?

– Their purpose in life is to lead you on and play with your feelings more than they play with you.

My advice to any ladies dating either..

Have that hot, fiery fling with the bad boy, you will need that to reminisce on. Also, you need that one guy that your mates can keep bringing up after every night on the wine.

If you must pick from the fuck boy tree, treat him the same. There is nothing wrong with a disposable fling,  don’t book that table at Nando’s and whatever you do, don’t use that poor marrow plant emoji in conversation!!

To summarise, you know what you are getting with a bad boy, a fuck boy however, is a bit of a snake. I am usually such a good judge of character and bin them off as soon as I get a hint. Although I have to admit, like many others have fallen into the trap of one, hooked on good vibes, the promises of future outings, having amazing nights together and wondering if you could give up your beloved freedom for them. This is not me at all. I can control my emotional beans for ages, these fuck boys are damn good,  damn hot and are actually damn likeable. Now i have learnt to play the game and play it well. Also, these strange alluring creatures are found mostly on Tinder.

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Modern moves?!

fall for actions

As I have stated in previous posts, my dating has taken a hiatus for a few years. Since I have started dating and chatting to guys again, I just can’t get my head around certain things.

  1. The unsolicited dick pick. I always thought this was only acceptable with someone you can fully trust that they will not flash that picture of your nips in the really bad lighting about to their mates, or even worse, on the internet. Apparently you only need to get three messages deep (pun totally intended!) these days before sending one. Or from another experience, a pic sent via twitter, I would have at least preferred an introduction or a hello; I certainly did not ‘wanna get on this’.
  2. The use of the poor aubergine to symbolise a dick. I can’t stand an aubergine anyway but I’m sure it’s a bit devastated to be used in sex memes! Using your actual words is much more effective, trying to decipher hieroglyphic’s is not a turn on at all! Leave the poor eggplant for its intended purpose, in a rat-atat-atouille or in the bin with the rest of the shit vegetables.
  3. The notion that every guy cheats or has a ‘side chic’. Come on ladies, don’t believe your idiot mates who have been trying to get with Barry from Toccy while he bangs every minger that moves or trying to change these so called ‘fuck boys’. These were more commonly known as bad boys, or full on dickheads. Not every guy is sleeping with everyone, sending dick pics or acting like these meme’s people love so much, get off Tinder and have some faith in humanity.
  4. There is no in between. It is either three messages in and someone is professing marriage or the standard ‘netflix and chill’ invite. I can’t stand this saying, what happened to asking someone round to watch an actual movie. At least then sex isn’t expected, in a non rapey way i should point out! Isn’t it part of the excitement when your sat there wondering if they have genuinely only come over to watch that shit Adam Sandler movie? And don’t get me started on the ‘firestick and dick’ saying!!
  5. No one gets to know each other now; they treat everyone like they are disposable. People say that they hate playing games and love honesty yet play more games than Bradley Wiggins and lie like a cheap rug. Stop over thinking, be honest and put your monopoly board away. Text the guy/girl if you want to speak to them, don’t leave people on ‘read’ to prove a point and if you actually like someone, tell them! ‘Treat them mean’ does not work at all, unless you’re younger and pulling your crushes hair to the point of tears. Although if it works out, she may love the hair pulling further down the line 😉