Tag Archives: appreciation

A few words to my younger self..

If I could write a letter to my younger self, it would go something like this..

OI YOU LITTLE BITCH!..

Just kidding..


-always remember to smile

-You are always good enough.. never listen to the few idiots who try to make you feel less of a person, they are projecting their own issues on you, and they are also arseholes.

-your mum is always right, apart from thinking you like eggs, she won’t remember this until you hit 28 and by that time you won’t actually mind them

-you will loose that ‘puppy fat’ and when you look back, you will realise you were never really fat anyway!

-get rid of the negative influences in your life sooner rather than later

-when you get that first working pay check, for god sake stay away from new look!

-coming second is a big achievement..especially when it’s to someone who is just as creative and ridiculously talented, it’s something to be proud of, nothing to be embarrassed of.

-it’s ok to cry & show emotion, it’s totally ok to ‘cry like a girl’ as you bloody are one!

-what ever you do, do not let that dinner lady force you to eat cauliflower cheese..it doesn’t end well

-be yourself, don’t be so shy and embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with standing out from the crowd.

-everything will make sense in a few years, all of those gut feelings and niggling thoughts will make sense

-massive hoop earrings are a major faux par 

-as is pulling your socks over your finest Lacoste tracky pants 

-you will find your place one day, no more longing of a place to fit in, you will finally find the right fashion sense through vintage everything!

-that empty space you feel that needs filling, will become whole once you start to love yourself ❤

-stop ironing your hair immediately, one day you will want those curls back

-it’s ok not to have a plan, you don’t have to go to uni or college straight away, enjoy being young and free!

And last but not least..

DONT RUN IN CLOGGS YOU DAFT COW!!

Head Space

On my little three day trip to Spain I managed to do some serious soul searching. Lately I have lost my way a bit. I had totally thrown myself into modelling as well as doing my job and cramming as much over time in as humanly possible.

All of my new positive activities had been kicked to the kerb. I was back to eating crap, no more yoga, no more meditation, slowed down blogging, no more walks around the park or chilling my beans. My days off were crammed with arranging shoots, planning outfits, poses, travel time, preparation and trying to function on very little sleep. Cramming four shoots in a month is not the best idea. I literally felt drained.

So on the Sunday, after 2 hours sleep I headed to a networking shoot. Then straight from the shoot, I had to rush home, grab my suitcase and haul ass to the airport. I got myself one big ass pint of cider and rang my mum. This was the first time I had flown on my own and I’m a terribly flyer. I looked at it as some time to chill on my own.

I boarded the plane and threw my headphones in, for the first hour I listened to a guided meditation on Spotify. I managed to coach my breathing right through the take off and didn’t get one tiny ounce of anxiety. I also done the same on the way back, although this time I was surrounded by 6 million children, who decided to scream as we were landing, I very, very nearly lost my shit and joined in with the screaming.

I had an amazing few days. The friend I went to visit, I had known for 10 years which has flown! For the first time I was totally honest with her, going into some pretty deep stuff that I would never normally talk about. It must have been the pool/lilo/sun effect as I was totally sober! Afterwards I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would opening up like that. My little mini break was certainly an experience in every sense Down at the beach I lay down, burning to an absolute crisp and revaluated the past few weeks and what is most important to me. It’s then a realised I’m doing too much and need to slow down. I left my phone in the apartment whenever we went out and felt like i had gained a sense of freedom. My phone has done nothing but ping lately, to the point that I have silenced most of my notifications. Luckily I had my picture mad friend to document the whole thing.

So from my holiday revaluation I will be doing the following:

– Making more time for myself, get back to enjoying nature again

– Slowing down with the modelling, one or two shoots a month is totally fine!

– Make time to meditate and practice yoga and eat well

– Continue to write this blog and spill my emotional beans all over the place

– Continue to make my little home a happy place to escape, which isn’t hard as I am in heaven as soon as I walk through the door.

– Using social media a lot less, apart from my modelling page occasionally.

– Carrying on smiling, laughing and being positive when faced with any negativity.

I am one day in to slowing down and i already feel so much better again 🙂