Meditation fail

So last night, after weeks of ‘not having time’ I attempted my first meditation session. I had spent ages reading through the benefits of it, thinking I would become a zen-like goddess after my first session..this was not the case.

A friend who is into this meditation malarkey advised me to try a 20 min guided meditation on YouTube. Off I went to bed, turned all the lights off and threw my headphones in, lying like I had been laid out to rest. I hit play and heard a very nice relaxing voice, with a rather loud ticking clock in the background. I tried to ignore it, relax and focus on my breathing like it said..for all of 3 mins.

At this point I turned into Dustin Hoffman in Hook. I had to smash the fuckers up. I had failed in my mission to become spiritually chilled and had done the total opposite, I had wound myself up something fierce.

I have two clocks in my bedroom, a cute vintage style bedside one and a big rose gold one on the wall. The ticks and tocks became unbearable over the sound of this chilled guys voice. So I hit the pause button, saying something along the lines of ‘for fuck sake I’m trying to chill here’ to no one, threw the big light on and removed the clock. I put it on the floor and covered it with blankets and all kinds of noise cancelling crap,still ticking but very muffled.  I decided against smashing it up, it’s quite a nice clock after all.

By the time I turned the light off again, attempted a swan dive on to my bed and hit play again,it took me the rest of the meditation to chill out. The point it did,the adverts came on and I shit myself. If that’s how I deal with trying to chill with meditation, trying yoga should be a breeze!

Maybe I am getting meditation and medication mixed up?!

There’s always tomorrow to be a zen-like master I suppose.


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