As I have stated in previous posts, my dating has taken a hiatus for a few years. Since I have started dating and chatting to guys again, I just can’t get my head around certain things.
- The unsolicited dick pick. I always thought this was only acceptable with someone you can fully trust that they will not flash that picture of your nips in the really bad lighting about to their mates, or even worse, on the internet. Apparently you only need to get three messages deep (pun totally intended!) these days before sending one. Or from another experience, a pic sent via twitter, I would have at least preferred an introduction or a hello; I certainly did not ‘wanna get on this’.
- The use of the poor aubergine to symbolise a dick. I can’t stand an aubergine anyway but I’m sure it’s a bit devastated to be used in sex memes! Using your actual words is much more effective, trying to decipher hieroglyphic’s is not a turn on at all! Leave the poor eggplant for its intended purpose, in a rat-atat-atouille or in the bin with the rest of the shit vegetables.
- The notion that every guy cheats or has a ‘side chic’. Come on ladies, don’t believe your idiot mates who have been trying to get with Barry from Toccy while he bangs every minger that moves or trying to change these so called ‘fuck boys’. These were more commonly known as bad boys, or full on dickheads. Not every guy is sleeping with everyone, sending dick pics or acting like these meme’s people love so much, get off Tinder and have some faith in humanity.
- There is no in between. It is either three messages in and someone is professing marriage or the standard ‘netflix and chill’ invite. I can’t stand this saying, what happened to asking someone round to watch an actual movie. At least then sex isn’t expected, in a non rapey way i should point out! Isn’t it part of the excitement when your sat there wondering if they have genuinely only come over to watch that shit Adam Sandler movie? And don’t get me started on the ‘firestick and dick’ saying!!
- No one gets to know each other now; they treat everyone like they are disposable. People say that they hate playing games and love honesty yet play more games than Bradley Wiggins and lie like a cheap rug. Stop over thinking, be honest and put your monopoly board away. Text the guy/girl if you want to speak to them, don’t leave people on ‘read’ to prove a point and if you actually like someone, tell them! ‘Treat them mean’ does not work at all, unless you’re younger and pulling your crushes hair to the point of tears. Although if it works out, she may love the hair pulling further down the line 😉